this week in the studio…
i am so happy to introduce you to my guest poster. (poster? sounds funny.)
stephanie is so sweet. she has a special story to share and she has a huge heart. you will find that out when you see what she is up to with her art! her plans have a special place in my heart because like stephanie, my mom left the hospital without a baby. my baby sister brenda, was with us just 4 short days.
Once upon a time . . . there was a little girl who lived by a world famous Museum in a little town, nestled in the midwest. Instead of taking ballet or piano like her friends, she begged her parents to let her take ART lessons. And from the moment she walked across the shiny marble floors, smelled the museum air, and took a gander at some amazing works ~ she was hooked. Each and every summer was spent taking classes, learning new things, and just soaking in the beauty that came from the human imagination!
Sadly, she lost her confidence somewhere along the line between high school and college and decided that working with children was what she wanted to do. Although in truth, she never stopped yearning to unleash the colors that swam around in her brain. Always wondering what could have been if she had the courage to follow her dream of studying art.
In the middle of all of that, prince charming came along and swept her off her feet. LITERALLY! He took her to see the big wide world, made her see things from a new perspective and loved her silly and adventurous side (oh yeah, this girl was fun;). She skied in the Alps, scuba dove off the Great Barrier Reef, jumped out of an airplane, and traveled some of the world ~ all before the age of 30.
Then, like an answered prayer, she became pregnant and began raising her babies. Her creative flare was spent splashing colors on her walls, organizing the pantry, and planning colossal birthday parties. And she was happy.
Until one day, it became clear that she must put brush to canvas again. The time had come for her art to become a vehicle of healing after the most devastating death of her baby girl. This sweet little girl that didn’t get to live, gave her mother the push she needed to create again and to finally call herself ~ an artist.
Amelia Rose was born peacefully on March 11, 2010. She weighed 7 lbs. 12 oz., was 20 inches long with lots of dark hair and, in a word . . . ~ beautiful~. I am blessed to have been chosen to be her mother. There is real beauty that has come from Amelia’s life . . . my story & art, and a passion for making a difference. And if you let me, I would like to share it with you.
Imagine giving birth and leaving a hospital without your baby. It is something most people don’t want to think about let alone try to imagine. But this is a reality for about 26,000 women who experience pregnancy loss through stillbirth each year in the United States. They leave the hospital with empty arms ~ and, if they are fortunate ~ may be given a small box Memory Box with a few precious things that their baby left behind.
When your baby dies, the things that people do and say in those first days in the hospital, make all the difference. Hopefully caregivers are trained in helping families through this socking turn of events. Hopefully, parents are encouraged to spend time with their baby. Hopefully, everything humanly possible is done to make memories and provide resources. Hopefully, you don’t have to listen to other mothers pushing their babies out or sit in shock as the cries of a newborn in the next room cut right through your heart. Hopefully, a mother is not told ‘Congratulations’ by housekeeping as they come to clean the bathroom. Hopefully, doctors don’t refer to your child as a ‘body’ or ‘medical waste’ to be disposed of. Hopefully, words are gentle and hugs are offered. Hopefully, people around you will let you grieve as you need to without putting any expectations on you. Unfortunately, this is an unacceptable reality for many people that I speak too. Thankfully, our experience with Amelia beautiful was supportive. We were given respect, privacy, understanding, and support.
I left the hospital holding only a memory box and blanket that she was swaddled in. My face buried in the soft pink folds where the smell of my daughter lingered. That was almost two years ago. And since then, approximately 58,000 mothers have lived this grief ~ as I did. And I honestly can’t bear the thought that some of these experiences will be made inexorable worse by lack of planning on a hospitals part. These families need to know they are not alone. They need to be given even the smallest comfort that can be afforded them. And nothing I can do will ever lessen the pain of this kind of grief, but I can share my story. I can give my art.
‘Starry, Starry Night’ is an image that represents stillbirth and motherhood ~ an intertwined and never-ending story. I am using this image to not only bring attention to the reality of infant loss and stillbirth in our society, but to spearhead my Donate Art project. Details can be found here.
I am donating ART Cards to hospital memory boxes so that parents to have something visual, beautiful, tangible and ‘sharable’. I want to create a piece of commemorative art that a family can hand down through generations. A visible reminder to all who see it ~ that our babies were here and motherhood is forever.
So far, three hospitals will be including these cards as a way to touch families who (like me) have to leave the hospital without their babies. As this project grows, I will have more and more requests to fill and I welcome any help that you may feel led to give. I am humbly accepting donations and would like to share that as little as $1 will make 1 Art Card possible. One dollar, one family, one blessing, one difference. A portion of ALL proceeds Beyond Words Designs earns is put towards this project. If you would like to view more of my art, please visit my shop. And if you have made it this far into this post, you are awesome! I love connecting with people and hearing your stories. Feel free to contact me at steph@beyondwordsdesigns.com. I hang out at the following places and talk all about my crazy life, art, homeschooling, kids, and Amelia. . . but not necessarily in that order:
see… i told you she has a beautiful heart! what a special way to use your art.
thank you stephanie.
i am so looking forward to seeing your creative heart this week.
♥
ready to share? let us celebrate the process and the accomplishments.
please remember we want this to be an encouraging group, it would be wonderful if you would visit as many of the other studios as you can.
and remember… 'studio' is meant to be wherever you are creating.
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please include the button or a link back to this post so people know where to find everyone.
That is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing! My sister and her husband lost their baby boy from a heart defect in March 2010. He was born March 6 and went to be in heaven on March 19. They are still so very grateful for the 13 days that they had with him and the hospital staff was wonderful. I was there when they brought the Memory box in to them, so I know just how special that is. And afterwards, when our family all walked out of that hospital together, you are right, there was this emptiness because they were leaving without their baby… just carrying a box. But it was an unseasonably beautiful day and the sunshine pouring over us gave us comfort from God and now He has blessed them with another son. They did a radio interview about the book they wrote this week, so my nephew, Gideon, has been on my heart and in my mind all week. Thank you for sharing your story and your art with others!!!
Lindsay, I am so sorry that Gideon isn't with your sister anymore. It hurts to read stories of other angel babies, knowing that pain personally, but I am happy to hear that her hospital provided her with a memory box. Amelia also had a heart condition, called Hypoplastic Left Heart along with some other things.
What book did they write? I am always so moved by hearing how God commissions great works from tragedy.
amazing… gideon also had hlhs!!!
their book is 13 days with gideon. did they know in advance about amelia's condition? they only discovered gideon's a few days before he was born. had they not found it, he would have been born at a different hospital and they would not have had those 13 days.
(((hugs))) from one aunt to another…
Yes, we found out when I was 24 weeks pregnant with Amelia. She was diagnosed with Turner's syndrome and had HPLS, a cystic hygroma and hydrops. We were given a 0% survival for her, and dr's were always amazed that she made it each week. Ultimately she survived to 40 weeks and 1 day before she died. We had 16 weeks to plan and prepare for her.
amazing… gideon also had hlhs!
their book is 13 days with gideon. they found out about his condition a few days before he was born, otherwise they would not have had that time with him.
(((hugs))) from one aunt to another!
sorry for the duplicate, i didn't think it went through. anyway, i just now saw that stephanie replied, so (((hugs))) for you, too, stephanie!
Stephanie this post is beautiful, the expression of love & light in the words, rather than anger and darkness is astounding and the painting, just so so beautiful xx
Jennibelli,
Thank you for the kind words. There were lots of dark times and dark words, but those too were all part of the grief. I am thankful that I am able to paint these images, and that they are seen as hopeful.
What a moving post. I am so sorry for your loss Stephanie. Your painting is beautiful and I just pinned it hoping to help you spread your message of hope to more hurting families. Blessings to you~
Misty,
Thank you so much for your pin! I would LOVE to see my art all over on Pintrest . . . and its message spread world wide.
What an inspirational story. Taking our loss and using it to help others is one of the best things that we can do. What a great way for Stephanie to share the creativeness she has been blessed with to help others.
Renee ~ I was always so moved by other baby loss parents contributions to help others. I desperately wanted to find something to focus on, some 'thing' that would help me make sense of the senselessness of loosing her. I only hope that my work is a blessing to people in some small way.
Wow, I am so touched by your post today Stephanie and pray that the Lord uses you to reach out to those who are hurting, because you have something not all of us can claim, experience. I'm so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine it and don't honestly want too, but thank you for allowing us to share it with you and be a part of what you are doing to touch the lives of others affected by this tragedy. God bless.
Anita, thank you.
You are so inspiring, Stephanie! You and Amelia are doing so much good for mamas like me. I love your art and your message.
Dejah, Your story is touching so many too. It just helps to read that we are not alone.
I love how you are "comforting others with the same comfort you received" as scripture says…I have friends who have lost their babies in this way – and what a wonderful ministry you are providing…tenderhearted and loving! I pray that each person receiving such a card feel that tender embrace of the Lord as they grieve and heal.
Amen
such a beautiful post. All human life is sacred. All human life.
Thank you:) I agree.
This is beautiful Jennifer. I lost a baby 4 years ago this month. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life. The worst thing someone said was "You already have four children. Be grateful for that." These words still ring in my ears. . . my grief was pushed aside and didn't mean anything to many. It was terrible!!! I still grief (( silently)) for the child I lost.
I will be donating!!!
xoxo, lisa
I am working on the weird problem with my page. Thanks for letting me know! I am not very tech savvy and this stuff just throws me for a loop.
I am so sorry you little one isn't hear with you. I too have heard some horrible things that only made that time more painful. I often wish that people would just offer a hug and a 'sorry' instead of saying those hurtful things. I know you still grieve because I do too because our children are not here with us.
Beautiful story… I cried all the way through it. So glad it's out there to help broken hearts heal!
Renee
xoxo
Renee, thank you so much.
Wow..what a wonderful post…so moving and I'm also going to pin this and hopefully inspire others to help out. Love the art piece and I know that it must be very comforting to receive it. We take childbirth for granted and I could just not imagine loosing any of my children or coming home from the hospital without my baby. Wow…now I'm off to blow my nose and rinse my eyes…thanks for sharing this story.
Fondly, Roberta
Roberta, thank you for the kind words and your help spreading the word!
This is such a powerful story. I am moved. Inspired. Challenged. Grieved. I know art from pain as well, and I'm learning to share its healing power with other women in various stages of life. I'm encouraged to keep sharing after reading this post.
Mandy, I encourage you to keep going! My work has been so cathartic for me and sharing my story is just as healing for me.
So great to see Stephanie as your guest poster (wink) today!
Wink!
Stephanie, it was so good to "see" you here again. I never went back to your blog after my very first visit. Somehow it's still so very raw, although it's 12 years ago that I lost my baby girl. Perhaps it's because I didn't experience that wonderful hospital staff or received some really hurtfull reactions from other people afterwards. I'm still in grief – alone and silent. I'm deeply grateful for my wonderful first born daughter who will be 14 this year – without her, the experience would have been way more devastating.
I love what you do – these little cards are a wonderful addition in any memory box. Hopefully all parents who lose their babies will experience thoughtful hospital staff and people around them.
Thank you for what you do.
Carola, You are not alone. So many women still grieve in silence and I just hate that. I hate how grief makes those around us uncomfortable and we are made to feel like our pain is inconvenient. I wish your experience had been different, that your daughter would have lived and you never would have had to be in silence.
I understand totally about that 'raw' feeling. Sometimes you just need space and to not go to the places where your pain is amplified.
So so proud of Stephanie, and everything she is doing to bring comfort to grieving families!! You are awesome Jen, for sharing her heart today! xoxo
Thanks Fran!
Steph, you are making such a difference! Keep using your gifts to bring comfort to hurting hearts and glory to the Lord! We are excited to see your cards in hospitals around the country!!
Thanks Jacqueline! I hope the cards make it to the right places that will share them. I wish they weren't needed, but happy that I can provide them.
Almost two decades ago, my brother and his wife shared this loss. I cannot begin to imagine the heartache. Just takes my breath away to even think about it. Stephanie, sending warm hugs your way and applause for the wonderful way you are using your art to help heal. blessings ~ Tanna
Hugs back Tanna. I am sorry you lost your niece or nephew. I am not at all sure how care was provided for parents 20 years back . . . but it seems like gift boxes and supportive care are all a relatively new idea. I still talk to people who have lost a baby recently and had bad hospital experiences. I hope that your brother and sister in law had better than most.
Loss can either bring us down or make us stronger. I'm glad Stephanie was able to make a difference in other mothers' lives and of course because of that, she also found her voice and put meaning in her life. God bless her! Her daughter Amelia Rose was like a seed that had to die to bear fruit.
What you have told me a lot. I am a mother and I understand your pain
Thank you for sharing Jennifer because I met wonderful people because of you
(I hope my english is good!!)
more than happy to introduce you to special people flo! and your english is great! :)
What a wonderful idea to share your compassion. One of my very good friends lost her baby at 37 weeks pregnant. It was devastating for her of course, and also for me. We were both due at the same time and we shared in our pregnancy stories together. It is hard to know how to respond as a friend to support someone in that tragic time. Thank you for sharing your story.
Delicious painting, a sad but treated very gently. Greetings.
Stephanie- thank-you for sharing your incredibly moving story of loss. blessing and hope. You are one brave mama and I am profoundly moved by what you are doing in the world! Jennifer- as always, thanks for this space that you've created, for us to share, learn and be blessed by each other!